Why Goals Suck

Because I can never seem to stick to them. Not when it comes to weight and health and all that jazz, anyway. I've been absolutely awful. I think I did one workout last week, and it didn't even work very well because I needed workout bands, which I didn't have. I tried to improvise, and it worked a little bit, but I know I didn't get the full benefit of the routine. I'm probably going to buy some bands soon so that it will be easier to do P90X. I really, really want to try it. I just have to get myself to do it.

I have discovered that I have absolutely no self-control or self-discipline. I've discovered the three most destructive words in my vocabulary: "I don't care." Anytime I want something I know I shouldn't have, I think, "Gah, I don't care!" and have it anyway. I need to start training myself so that if those three dirty words pop into my head, I counter them by saying, "No! I do care! I really, really do, and that is why I will not eat this/do this!"

I started a new goal to read the Book of Mormon in a month, and so far I've been doing great. And I love that this is a goal I look forward to and want to do. Maybe my determination to accomplish this goal will sneak its way into my health goals and help those. Plus, the fact that my goal is to read 17 pages of scripture a day can't hurt all my other righteous desires, right?

Food lately hasn't been too bad. I actually had much more veggies than usual today, since I ate cucumbers at work and had a bunch of veggies in the stew I made for dinner. And I didn't really snack at work, which is great, because I usually do.

However, I did go to the store today and I did buy ice cream. And I ate some. And some crackers. But all in all, it was not the worst day I've had, and it gives me hope in my future self-discipline. And hope is really what matters, right? It drives us to action. Sometimes.

Long Time, No See

I find it ironic that my last post title is "Getting Better," and then I don't write again for two weeks. That doesn't really strike me as getting better . . .

I have made a few changes in my routines. Sort of. I've been quite terrible at working out lately (no, that's not one of the changes). Last week I did a couple P90X videos, like Kenpo X and Core Synergistics. The core work out killed! I was sore for a good three days after. It was pretty intense. But I haven't worked out at all this week.

I realized recently that I have only been to the gym about three times in the past six weeks. I've worked out more than that in general, but I decided that wasn't enough to justify $25 a month. So yesterday I went and cancelled my membership at 24 Hour. It makes me a little sad, but I have all the P90X videos and there's a little gym in my apartment complex's clubhouse, so I have no excuse not to work out.

I'm thinking of trying the P90X series. But it scares me. A lot. I've seen other people do it, and it's crazy! I tried Plyometrics, which is one of the hardest videos, with my roommate, and I couldn't even make it through the warm up. It was ridiculous. But I want to try, because it could really help me if I can keep doing it.

I have also started drinking Slim Fast shakes for breakfast. I have no idea yet if that has helped me at all. My mom said she started drinking them for breakfast and she lost some weight, but I don't have a scale, so it's hard for me to know if I've lost anything. I was afraid the shakes would taste really gross, but I was pleasantly surprised. I actually quite like them, and it's so much easier to grab a shake on my way to work than it is to make time to eat a bowl of cereal before work.

So consider this a new phase in my pursuit. Hopefully I can keep up with this one better than the last phases, since there have been a few.

Getting Better

Oh good, another post! It's only been a few days, and this time I have some successes to share. Woo hoo!

Yesterday I went and visited some friends in their apartment, only to find them busy doing a P90X video in their living room. Seeing that kind of galvanized me into action . . . nothing makes me feel lamer or lazier than watching somebody else work out. So I came home, chatted with my roommate for a minute or two, and then turned on the 10 Minute Yoga video my mom gave me a while back.

I got about five minutes into the first routine when I realized something rather important: I hate yoga. Really. I absolutely hate it. I was already wondering how in the world I was going to do five more minutes, let alone two or three more routines. My body just doesn't do what these people say it should do. If I can't even do the basics, how in the world am I supposed to do the calorie burn? So I turned the video off.

But don't worry, my friends, this is not the end of my work-out story. Since I was already all dressed for exercising, I decided to put on my Kenpo X video, which is part of the P90X exercise video series. I'm way too much of a wuss to do the whole routine (P90X is a killer), but I had done Kenpo X before and had forgotten how much I love it. I sweat like a dude and burn who knows how many calories, and I never once think, "I hate this. I just want to stop right now."

Yes for one success story from this week! No, I didn't work out on Monday, or today. I was going to do another P90X video (because I really didn't feel like driving to the gym), but then some friends visited, and I got caught up in updating my other blog (it's pretty cool looking—you should check it out here), and now it's 11:20 and I think my sleep goal is going to trump my work-out goal.

I Hate This Blog

It's true. I really do. It makes me feel so . . . beholden. I feel like I have to document every single little thing here . . . even though that's very boring, and no one wants to read about it. It's strange that I should hate this blog for the very reason I created it. I wanted to feel responsible for something, so I created this blog, and now I hate it for making me feel responsible.

That's mostly because I have been a complete and utter failure this week. Truly. I've been horrible. I haven't been to the gym once, and I couldn't even get myself to do one of my work-out videos at home. How lazy is that? And then I look at myself in the mirror and think, "I should be eating better. I should be working out more. Then maybe I wouldn't be embarrassed by what I see looking back at me."

I'm not the biggest fan of my apartment complex right now . . . especially because it seems like the pool is always filled with super-skinny girls who are knockouts in bikinis. If I wore a bikini, I would scare people away. Why is it that some people were blessed with really, really ridiculously good-looking bodies while the rest of the population is doomed to be average? How in the world am I supposed to compete with these girls?

I can't. That's the simple truth of it. And that's why I hate this blog. Because even if I do lose weight, I don't think my body type would allow me to look like that. So what's the point of blogging when I'm just going to fail over and over and over again anyway? Why in the world did I do this to myself?

Oh yeah. Because my goal isn't to look like the 18-year-old Barbie doll who lives across the hall. My goal is to be happy with myself and with my body. To know that I am doing my best to be fit, active, and healthy. That's what this is about.

Okay, now I don't hate this blog so much, and I promise I'll be more diligent in the future. Just bear with me if it seems like I'm constantly writing about my failures. I'm bound to run across a couple success stories along the way.

Whoa, Bad Week . . .

When it comes to fitness, this week has been fairly awful. Monday was Labor Day, so I went home to have a barbeque at my brother's house. I didn't eat particularly badly, and I didn't eat after 8 p.m., but I certainly didn't exercise. I don't know what my excuse was on Tuesday, but I didn't work out then either.

My company held the annual KLAS Conference yesterday and today. That means I had to be at the Provo Mariott at 8 a.m., so I did not work out before work as usual. I'm sorry, but there was no way I was going to get up at 5:30 a.m. I'm not that good. Yesterday, I didn't get home until after 5 p.m. and all I wanted to do was play The Beatles: Rock Band, so I didn't even think about the gym. Today I got home at around 3 p.m., but I have felt slightly pukish, and I don't feel like pushing my luck. I don't think the hotel food sat well with me. However, I did bowl (real bowling, not Wii bowling) for two hours straight today. That's almost four games. (Don't ask me how I did, my scores are quite embarrassing.)

So there you have my terrible fitness week. I don't have to be into work until 11 a.m. tomorrow (hallelujah!), so I'm planning on going to the gym before then, and hopefully I'll go on Saturday, too. I'd like to salvage at least two days of working out this week.

New Goal

You may have noticed that I added a new goal. (Or if you didn't, now you will.) I realized last night that I am horrible at going to bed at a decent time, which will (obviously) make it difficult to get up before work to go to the gym. If there is anyone at home, I am liable to strike up a conversation that lasts for much longer than I anticipate. Or, if there isn't anyone at home, I'll get wrapped up in blogging, or distracted by Facebook, or caught up in other random websites.

Getting enough sleep may not seem very related to my overall health, but if I don't get sleep, I won't work out. It's pretty much that simple. So for me, they are very much connected.

Unfortunately, I already know that I won't reach that goal tonight. I'm going to tell you a little something that will bring out my inner nerd (which really isn't all that inner, if you get to know me). The Beatles: Rock Band comes out tomorrow. I discovered today that my Guitar Hero World Tour instruments will work with The Beatles: Rock Band, hence saving me $70. And since I only need to grab the game now, I'm going to Walmart at midnight to pick it up. (Though I'm really not sure how the fact that I'm not buying the whole instrument package equates to me going to Walmart instead of using Amazon). Yes, I am going to a midnight release of a video game, and I am fully aware of how nerdy that is. But I don't care. In a few short hours, I will be rocking out to some of the best music ever made. And I can't wait.

There's a little insight into the inner workings of Lindy's Brain. I'll try not to do that very often . . . I know it's a little frightening.

Week One in Review

Whew, week one of my pursuit of skinniness is complete! And now it's Sunday, which means no worrying about working out. Even if I wanted to go to the gym today, I couldn't, because it's closed. Not that I want to. Sunday is my sleeping day.

First, a quick update on yesterday. No gym, Costa Vida, Funions, Coke . . . yeah, not so good on the healthy eating or keeping active parts of my goals. Though I did jump around a lot in my brother's living room as I cheered BYU on to a 14–13 victory over #3 Oklahoma. It was a ruddy brilliant game, and the fact that I ate crap and did nothing physical cannot dim my elation about the win. Holy crap . . . I still can't believe BYU won. The Cougars rock my socks.

Okay, enough of my school pride (though don't be surprised if it shows up every now and then . . . football season is upon us, after all), and back to how this week has been. I accomplished my first goal, which is the first time I've done that in a while. I still wish I had done better, but I think it's good for me to make goals that are more attainable.

For goal number two, I could have done better. I had a couple of salads for dinner, so at least I got some veggies, but I definitely could have done better. And I ate out a few times this week . . . but it's a new week, a time to renew and refocus and do better. I have to go grocery shopping this week, and I'm going to do my best to actually plan for some meals so that I don't end up snacking for dinner. I honestly don't know what I eat for dinner most nights, which really needs to change.

Goal number three is something that I was told by the personal trainer that I worked with for a little bit a year and a half ago (back when I was actually good at working out and went to the gym at least five times a week). He told me that a vast majority of the time, everyone reaches their daily caloric intake before 8 p.m., so there is no reason to eat after that. To be honest, I was paying more attention to goal #1 this week, so I can't honestly say how I've done. But I don't think I've been terrible. I guess that's saying something.

Week one down, and many more to go. Hopefully this week will bring some new accomplishments and experiments, like planning meals and a sugar strike. Hopefully I can make week two even better than week one.