Monday, August 31, 2009

Day One

Although I am a recent college graduate, most of my friends are still in school, and most of them started their new semester today. I figured that I could start something new too, so today was day one of my new fitness goals, and this blog. Okay, so the goals really aren't new—I've had these goals for weeks and months now, but I've been failing miserably at them, so it was time to rethink my tactics. Hence, the blog.

I'm not really expecting many people to read this. I'm pretty sure that only people I tell about it will pay any attention. And in fact, I'm okay with that. As much as I would like to have feedback and encouragement and whatever else I could get from a lot of readers, this whole weight business is a touchy subject for me. I'm not sure I want everyone in the world reading about my faults, weaknesses, and insecurities. So if you do read this, be a gem and don't judge too harshly. I'm just a girl, after all, and we worry about these things. A lot. Which is why guys should never (and I mean never) talk about weight, food, or anything else food/weight related with girls. Never.

I have been called fat, on numerous occasions. When it's from a girl, I want to rip her hair out. When it's from a guy, I want to kick him in a place where he really wouldn't appreciate it. Especially when that guy is purportedly my friend. Because of comments like that, I am incredibly conscious about my weight. I'm not a skinny girl. I never have been. I've always struggled with it. But that's the point of this blog—to deal with it. To work out my insecurities. To become who I want to be.

And now I'm rambling—that will happen a lot. Sorry. Today, I got up at 6:23 a.m. There was a point in my life when I did that everyday to work out. And it's hard. I almost skipped it this morning, but then I thought of this blog, was ashamed, and got out of bed. Ran on the elliptical for 45 minutes. Woot for four miles and 500 calories (or so the machine said—I choose to believe it, because I like the numbers). I got back from the gym and did some lunges and arm exercises with my wimpy five-pound weights. And holy crap, am I feeling the lunges. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow—my butt is going to kill. But it hurts good! Right? Right.

I've decided that as much as it can suck (I am so not a morning person), the morning is the best time to go to the gym. Most of the pretty people are still getting their beauty sleep, and the gym is fairly empty. I always look like crap, but it's nice not to get makeup all over my sweat I can come right home, shower, and get ready for the day. No showering twice, and no skipping the second shower and hoping I don't stink too badly.

The problem with the morning is that I sleep in as late as possible, so I don't have a lot of time for the essential resistance training. Jumping on an elliptical is so much easier than deciding which weights to do today and when to alternate and how much weight to put on...I hate that. But I have to do it tomorrow.

No weigh-in today...we'll see if I'm brave enough to post something like that tomorrow. That's a scary number, that is.

In the Beginning...

...there was a girl named Lindy. This girl was not happy with the way she looked, so she decided to start a blog to document her experiences as she fought to lose weight, get in shape, and be happy with herself.

This is not going to be your typical document-how-many-calories-I-consumed-versus-how-many-I-burned blog. That would be utterly and completely boring. No one wants to read that because no one cares. This is going to be a running commentary on what I'm feeling that particular day—whether I'm hating on the Barbie dolls at the gym (or in my apartment complex pool) or bemoaning the state of my butt after a rigorous session of lunges. Whatever is on my mind regarding fitness at that particular moment could likely end up on the Internet for all to read.

Another purpose of this blog is to give me a purpose, something to do everyday. And if I feel obligated to write everyday (or almost everyday), maybe I'll feel obligated to actually work at getting in shape everyday.

Yet another purpose (I know, it's a lot of purposes...sorry about that) is to try to hone my writing skills. I fancy myself a bit of a writer (okay, well, I'd like to fancy myself a writer), so hopefully this will give me an excuse to practice being witty, or entertaining, or persuasive, or whatever I want to be that day.

So...welcome to my pursuit of skinniness. Sort of. More like my pursuit of being happy with who I am, regardless of whether I fit the "ideal" or not. Because, really, let's be honest. How many women fit the ideal we as a society have imposed on ourselves? Not many. I want to be my own ideal—that's what I'm looking for.