Why Goals Suck

Because I can never seem to stick to them. Not when it comes to weight and health and all that jazz, anyway. I've been absolutely awful. I think I did one workout last week, and it didn't even work very well because I needed workout bands, which I didn't have. I tried to improvise, and it worked a little bit, but I know I didn't get the full benefit of the routine. I'm probably going to buy some bands soon so that it will be easier to do P90X. I really, really want to try it. I just have to get myself to do it.

I have discovered that I have absolutely no self-control or self-discipline. I've discovered the three most destructive words in my vocabulary: "I don't care." Anytime I want something I know I shouldn't have, I think, "Gah, I don't care!" and have it anyway. I need to start training myself so that if those three dirty words pop into my head, I counter them by saying, "No! I do care! I really, really do, and that is why I will not eat this/do this!"

I started a new goal to read the Book of Mormon in a month, and so far I've been doing great. And I love that this is a goal I look forward to and want to do. Maybe my determination to accomplish this goal will sneak its way into my health goals and help those. Plus, the fact that my goal is to read 17 pages of scripture a day can't hurt all my other righteous desires, right?

Food lately hasn't been too bad. I actually had much more veggies than usual today, since I ate cucumbers at work and had a bunch of veggies in the stew I made for dinner. And I didn't really snack at work, which is great, because I usually do.

However, I did go to the store today and I did buy ice cream. And I ate some. And some crackers. But all in all, it was not the worst day I've had, and it gives me hope in my future self-discipline. And hope is really what matters, right? It drives us to action. Sometimes.

Long Time, No See

I find it ironic that my last post title is "Getting Better," and then I don't write again for two weeks. That doesn't really strike me as getting better . . .

I have made a few changes in my routines. Sort of. I've been quite terrible at working out lately (no, that's not one of the changes). Last week I did a couple P90X videos, like Kenpo X and Core Synergistics. The core work out killed! I was sore for a good three days after. It was pretty intense. But I haven't worked out at all this week.

I realized recently that I have only been to the gym about three times in the past six weeks. I've worked out more than that in general, but I decided that wasn't enough to justify $25 a month. So yesterday I went and cancelled my membership at 24 Hour. It makes me a little sad, but I have all the P90X videos and there's a little gym in my apartment complex's clubhouse, so I have no excuse not to work out.

I'm thinking of trying the P90X series. But it scares me. A lot. I've seen other people do it, and it's crazy! I tried Plyometrics, which is one of the hardest videos, with my roommate, and I couldn't even make it through the warm up. It was ridiculous. But I want to try, because it could really help me if I can keep doing it.

I have also started drinking Slim Fast shakes for breakfast. I have no idea yet if that has helped me at all. My mom said she started drinking them for breakfast and she lost some weight, but I don't have a scale, so it's hard for me to know if I've lost anything. I was afraid the shakes would taste really gross, but I was pleasantly surprised. I actually quite like them, and it's so much easier to grab a shake on my way to work than it is to make time to eat a bowl of cereal before work.

So consider this a new phase in my pursuit. Hopefully I can keep up with this one better than the last phases, since there have been a few.